Mom – Rule enforcer, conflict resolver & reader of minds
Well in a way, everybody can “read minds”, but moms seem to have excelled in it since our birth. Mothers have a special sense about them. Being a Mom myself I have felt, mother just knows when your children seem to be upset or bothered by something. A mother’s mind never rests, and in this multitasking, she is also a rule enforcer and reader of minds.
It’s the most glorious sound when your two young children are laughing and playing. You can just sit, in solace, sipping your tea, uninterrupted, and revel in your otherworldly parenting skills. But then the dream ends. There’s a thud, a shout of “Mine!,” maybe a “Stop!”; you can’t be sure because it’s muffled by some crying. A child, most likely the younger, calls, “Mummy, help me!”
Not every mom has taken a class in conflict resolution, but many could teach one. These tips and rules can work for simple disagreements about toys, up to teenage problems with siblings, or boy/girlfriends to parent/child interactions.
Children have conflicts with friends, siblings, and even their parents. You will have the joy of helping your children learn the skills of listening, negotiation, compromise, and problem-solving, skills that will benefit them for a lifetime. Your kids will have to do it with friends, coworkers, and roommates. Their ability to productively handle conflict will set them up for success—and you can create the space for them to learn it.
But the task of teaching young children to resolve their own arguments is not an easy one. Siblings are together all the time, probably more so than with you. They’re in regular competition for everything—food, toys, couch space, your attention. Even if they get along, a basic relationship tension comes from them wanting what they want when they want it, “otherwise known as egocentrism,” says Laura Kastner, family and child psychologist and author of Getting to Calm, The Early Years. (inputs from – berkeley.edu)
Mom is the referee in sibling conflicts, she acts as a fight breaker, mediator, and also the tantrum tamer. Being a mom of two boys I have been in this role for ages now. Daily or should I say at least thrice or five times a day siblings pop up with a fight and I have to decide, investigate and choose.
The Reader of Non-Verbal Cues
Multiple types of research have shown that mothers are better at reading nonverbal cues than fathers. This makes them better nurtures and bond with kids instantly, while being capable of bringing in any emotional, physical, or behavioral changes in the child without much difficulty.
This role makes her the best fact-checker. Have you faces a similar situation – (“Mom! I did not color on the couch!”). Now how will one find out who’s the brain behind that color on the couch or wall? Mom uses her researcher’s brains and there she becomes investigator of the interwebs.
She becomes a researcher when her child comes home with an injury the reason of which is unknown to the child. The mom’s tricky brain then starts working with queries of all starts and she deduces the facts depending on the answers she gets. So what is that rash exactly? well, mom knows it all. She also one of its kind of lie detector.
Especially toys and fixers of the little parts. She knows how to fix that part when her kiddo just starts yelling or crying for a broken toy. Mom, the first aid for that doll’s broken arm or die-cast car’s broken wheel. She knows well how to fix a bent, Moms know how to save that tear.
Many will say why not throw it away and buy a new one. Well, here the reuse and repair economy mom plays her role. We as moms need to teach kids about sustainable things too. Teaching them the reuse-recycle-reduce is the best thing a mom can do. I’m sure you will love to read about this Mother-son duo who fix toys for kids with broken childhoods.
Ph.D. in Reverse Psychology
Being a parent of a teenager, I can say Reverse psychology works especially well with toddlers since this age group seems to instinctively enjoy doing things that go against their parents’ wishes. Otherwise, Reverse psychology is mom’s secret weapon for sure.
As with any parenting technique, choosing the right moment is critical. If you’re on edge or in a rush, reverse psychology may cause confusion and add to the tension. Treat reverse psychology as a good-natured game, and be prepared to abandon it if your child isn’t ready to play along.
Yes, moms are rule makers, and also the deep breather when rules are not followed. She is the one who is the decider of whether something is acceptable or not. While kids are growing it’s a mommy rule we have to follow. the role of timekeeper and rule enforcer defaults to moms, no it’s not correct I agree, but by default, it ends on her only.
One aspect of managing kids well is teaching them that you mean what you say.
Reader of our minds
She has the superpower of reading our minds and get to know about the things we are thinking of. She knows about all the problems even without uttering a word. Mother is a rule enforcer and reader of minds, she knows how to apply reverse psychology and bring back that smile.
This is the letter “R” in the journey of motherhood where we explore Mom’s roles in their children’s lives. Mom’s are everything for her kids, you name it we have it. Mother is a rule enforcer and reader of minds too, she is the researcher and repair expert too. Do read my earlier letters to enjoy the AtoZ of motherhood roles. This post is written as a part of the A2Z challenge, organized by Blogchatter. You will enjoy reading how moms are queens and Q&A managers too.