Parenting is not a cakewalk, but if the ingredients are in good proportion it can bake well. Yes with ingredients like patience, calmness, practicality, being tricky we can achieve a better parenting approach. Parenting approached with patience and positivity turn out with a beautiful relationship long term.

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For me handling a 10-year-old and 6 years old is tricky and challenging. It’s like one has to be little cautious as well as comfortable. I learned a lot from being a parent, being a mother. Yes, my kids have taught me a lot in this journey of motherhood and growing up with kids.  I often have to handle them all alone like a single mom as my hubby has different job timings and locations. For months, I stay alone with my kids and parents and it’s not easy handling 4 kids at home.

When mother’s of same age group kids meet I have often heard them all discussing the same issues, problems, cribs,

Have often heard these common complaints from parents for kids in growing age especially 7-10 years old-

  • My kiddo doesn’t listen to me
  • He is very stubborn, just don’t leave mobile or TV.
  • She just argues with me for everything
  • I’m fed up with his tantrums
  • We need Solutions

Does any of this sound similar and tell me what solution you tried to find??

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Are kids theorems or questions to get solutions… NO!!!

So what can we do?

I being a mom have gone through the worst phase also when my kiddo used to argue, disobey me, enjoyed troubling me, didint took interest in studies.
I have a very hyperactive, very naughty, restless but a very cute and sweet son and not only one but two jewels to my crown.
Thinker, At A Loss, Consider, Play, Question MarkSo to begin my story let me tell you, my elder one was always active, super energetic, restless, never sat at one place. He had made me cry ample of times as I was not able to handle him, his arguments, his behavior. When he overhear or disobeyed me, I admit, I use to yell, shout, scold, hit sometimes. He turned chairs and shake table in anger, he threw things, he cried loudly and on top of it, if I yelled I realized I had made the matters worse. I agree sometimes handling alone made my tempers go haywire but I admit at the same time I was wrong.

That one day when my kiddo said in front of a group of seniors that my mom can yell very well… I was shocked and I realized no this is not right. I am the worst role model and I need to change first if I want him to change. This is not the right way to change or mold him. This was time to understand the impact of my parenting style.

Kids are like clayHolding, Embrace, Attending, Nurture, Hand, Child

Children are like clay, waiting to be milded into something unique and beautiful and that too with delicate care, loving and encouraging words, patience, and positive thoughts. We need to mold them with patience, kindness, compassion, and gratitude. They are quick learners and absorb everything from their surroundings, parents,teachers.  For this reason, I started my mission of changing me as well as him. I will share my ways which are not just bookish but practically applied by me too.

I did a lot of changes in my lifestyle to learn to be a parent with patience, few I am jotting down for you-
Making time

This was most challenging as I had to opt to work part-time. I felt it’s this growing age when he needed me, and when I had given birth to him it was my responsibility to give him the much-needed attention, time, care and my sight. I know I had to sacrifice but my kiddo needed my time more than anything. Although I am brought up by a single working mother and I respect all working moms, but all kids are different and mine needed me above anything else.

  • Full attention – I reduced almost stopped watching TV and instead gave maximum time to him.
    The very day that particular soap or series becomes your priority you are restless with kids. I m sure to get a lot of time in later years when he flies to achieve his dream to watch the idiot box.
Work together

We both worked together be it small kitchen chores or study. I use to be part of all so I was growing with him. We even lay tables together, we cook together and point to note is cook his/ her favorite meal together you can see the added taste to the meal. And also I feel be it a boy or girl one should know helping, basic cooking, general home chores.

  • I started giving him marks at the end of the day depending on his behavior and equally asked him to rank me so I can also improve. My kid got excited and this helped in a positive turn. Now he is a super kid and I am a super Mumma too in his eyes at least.
Boost his self-esteem

Make-believe he/ she is important. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting.

  • my kid calculated days, how many days that mom has not scolded me and he was happy as days got added to the list… and finally there is no calendar to this.
Adjust your parenting style

Sometimes I heard his school tales which made me uncomfortable as I didn’t approve of them, but still, I kept my calm instead of reacting and listen to him carefully without throwing instant reactions. Only and only patience helped me improve my parenting journey.

Don’t scream or take out anger on kids

Your own behavior will be a mirror to your child’s behavior, so make sure your behavior is ideal for him to follow. Do not be too strict, scream, yell or scold as they will think it’s normal to behave like this. Don’t loose temper as he/ she may mimic you in future as kids learn from how you behave. Remain calm when it seems we’re in the middle of a battlefield. The patience plays a big role in handling the situation and also resolving the problem too.

This helped me be more friendly with him

Now he feels free to share with me, instead of repeating the line aap datoge (you will scold) cause now he knows I won’t.

Face it if you are an imperfect parent, that’s normal. I had my strengths and weaknesses but I decided to find ways to improve. Our children need to be seen and heard.

Its been now that I am more relaxed and my kiddo is also fine…no arguments, no yelling.
He has become more mature and happy baby/ growing teen.
So Parenting with “Patience” is the big keyword to handle kids of today especially pre-teens, growing kids. When you are showing patience you are modeling respect, empathy, and secutiry to your kids.

Every child has a different nature, behavior, qualities, tastes, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. And as a parent, we should respect and accept it. I have learned my parenting lessons with patience, I did take time and I accept it.

To sum all, The P’s of parenting are Patience, Positivity, Practicality, politeness, persistence, pleasing, protective, promising and be prepared to take care.

Zen, Garden, Meditation, Monk, Stones, Bamboo, Rest

Don’t forget to read my post on “Writing My Ikigai

I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa. This is my Earth post which includes musings and thoughts about blogging.

 


20 Comments

Arushi Seth · 11th September 2019 at 10:03

Wow, this is a really good post. We need to understand that we as parents can also be imperfect and why are we always expecting the kids to behave or listen to us. You have given some very helpful tips and I agree when you handle things patiently, half the battle is won. Loved reading the post.

    PraGun · 11th September 2019 at 21:32

    Thanks a lot for reading and appreciating.
    Parenting need loads of patience and I learned it from my kids only.

Matheikal · 12th September 2019 at 07:38

Bringing up kids is an art as well as a technique. Useful tips here.

    PraGun · 12th September 2019 at 18:32

    Thanks a lot, yes its a learning journey

Shubhra Rastogi · 12th September 2019 at 15:30

Loved your post. The Nine P’s you have mentioned are the part and parcel of parenting. If each one tries to follow even 6 or 7 P’s then a child may have a different perspective towards life and relationships. Also, happy and positive parents raise happy and positive children. Great post! #MyFriendAlexa #ShubhraReads

    PraGun · 12th September 2019 at 18:18

    Thanks a lot for appreciating

Shubhra Rastogi · 12th September 2019 at 15:33

I don’t know whether my comment went through. But a great post. Happy and Positive parents raise happy and positive children. Out of the Nine P’s that you have mentioned even if 6 or & are followed it will change a child’s perspective towards life and relationships. #MyFriendAlexa #ShubhraReads

    PraGun · 12th September 2019 at 17:46

    Thanks a lot for appreciating.
    True said positive kids need positive parenting.

Asfa · 13th September 2019 at 00:51

Every parent have a different ways to shape there kids, I don’t like when society question the parents.
#millennialscribbler
#myfriendalexa

    PraGun · 15th September 2019 at 10:22

    True all kids are different do are the parenting ways. We need to change as per kids requirements

Pragnya Mishra · 13th September 2019 at 17:41

Pragun, just loved this post. You shared things that worked for you and it was like a mom talking with her friends about her kids. Book marking as I would revisit this page again and again.

    PraGun · 13th September 2019 at 22:44

    Thanks a lot for kind words… you made my day
    happy blogging, keep visiting

Preetjyot Kaur · 13th September 2019 at 20:27

I totally second you. Positive and gentle parenting is what we believe in too.

Narinder Bhatia · 13th September 2019 at 22:05

You have summed up the characteristics of effective parenting really well. It’s a very detailed post and you have covered all the key aspects. Parenting is not only about raising a child but also about developing a child from within and inculcating values for life.

    PraGun · 13th September 2019 at 22:36

    Thanks a lot for appreciating.
    Yes parenting is a ongoing and learning journey.

arti · 17th September 2019 at 00:11

very useful tips

Preeti Negi · 17th September 2019 at 06:18

I had once attended a workshop where the host spoke something which really impressed me.
He was answering to one of the questions of a mother who was worried and felt insecure about her parenting skills. She felt that her 12-year-old son is not being nurtured by her properly and she is becoming a failure as a parent.
The host replied to her that parenting doesn’t go by a rule book as every child is different and has individual needs. There is no exam of parenting and hence there is no one who succeeds or fails in it. He assured her saying that she should keep up the hard work and keep looking for different ways which may work with her child in a positive way.
After all, even she herself was just a 12-year-old parent.

The last line of being the same age of parent as your child was impressed me a lot. We forget that we became parents only when our children were born. As a parent and child, we together have to find the thing that clicks for both of us and we as parent and child together can find harmony in that.

#readbypreetispanorama for #MyFriendAlexa

    PraGun · 17th September 2019 at 09:33

    Yes, truly said the parent’s age is similar to kids age and we as parents always learn in this growing process.
    You know that’s the reason I always wish the mothers first whenever I wish some child happy birthday, as I want to respect her motherhood journey too which is of the same age.
    thanks for reading.

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