Parenting is not a cakewalk, but if the ingredients are in good proportion it can bake well. Yes with ingredients like patience, calmness, practicality, being tricky we can achieve a better parenting approach. Parenting approached with patience and positivity turn out with a beautiful relationship long term.
For me handling a 10-year-old and 6 years old is tricky and challenging. It’s like one has to be little cautious as well as comfortable. I learned a lot from being a parent, being a mother. Yes, my kids have taught me a lot in this journey of motherhood and growing up with kids. I often have to handle them all alone like a single mom as my hubby has different job timings and locations. For months, I stay alone with my kids and parents and it’s not easy handling 4 kids at home.
When mother’s of same age group kids meet I have often heard them all discussing the same issues, problems, cribs,
Have often heard these common complaints from parents for kids in growing age especially 7-10 years old-
- My kiddo doesn’t listen to me
- He is very stubborn, just don’t leave mobile or TV.
- She just argues with me for everything
- I’m fed up with his tantrums
- We need Solutions
Does any of this sound similar and tell me what solution you tried to find??
Are kids theorems or questions to get solutions… NO!!!
So what can we do?
I being a mom have gone through the worst phase also when my kiddo used to argue, disobey me, enjoyed troubling me, didint took interest in studies.
I have a very hyperactive, very naughty, restless but a very cute and sweet son and not only one but two jewels to my crown.
So to begin my story let me tell you, my elder one was always active, super energetic, restless, never sat at one place. He had made me cry ample of times as I was not able to handle him, his arguments, his behavior. When he overhear or disobeyed me, I admit, I use to yell, shout, scold, hit sometimes. He turned chairs and shake table in anger, he threw things, he cried loudly and on top of it, if I yelled I realized I had made the matters worse. I agree sometimes handling alone made my tempers go haywire but I admit at the same time I was wrong.
That one day when my kiddo said in front of a group of seniors that my mom can yell very well… I was shocked and I realized no this is not right. I am the worst role model and I need to change first if I want him to change. This is not the right way to change or mold him. This was time to understand the impact of my parenting style.
Kids are like clay
Children are like clay, waiting to be milded into something unique and beautiful and that too with delicate care, loving and encouraging words, patience, and positive thoughts. We need to mold them with patience, kindness, compassion, and gratitude. They are quick learners and absorb everything from their surroundings, parents,teachers. For this reason, I started my mission of changing me as well as him. I will share my ways which are not just bookish but practically applied by me too.
I did a lot of changes in my lifestyle to learn to be a parent with patience, few I am jotting down for you-
This was most challenging as I had to opt to work part-time. I felt it’s this growing age when he needed me, and when I had given birth to him it was my responsibility to give him the much-needed attention, time, care and my sight. I know I had to sacrifice but my kiddo needed my time more than anything. Although I am brought up by a single working mother and I respect all working moms, but all kids are different and mine needed me above anything else.
- Full attention – I reduced almost stopped watching TV and instead gave maximum time to him.
The very day that particular soap or series becomes your priority you are restless with kids. I m sure to get a lot of time in later years when he flies to achieve his dream to watch the idiot box.
We both worked together be it small kitchen chores or study. I use to be part of all so I was growing with him. We even lay tables together, we cook together and point to note is cook his/ her favorite meal together you can see the added taste to the meal. And also I feel be it a boy or girl one should know helping, basic cooking, general home chores.
- I started giving him marks at the end of the day depending on his behavior and equally asked him to rank me so I can also improve. My kid got excited and this helped in a positive turn. Now he is a super kid and I am a super Mumma too in his eyes at least.
Boost his self-esteem
Make-believe he/ she is important. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticizing far more often than complimenting.
- my kid calculated days, how many days that mom has not scolded me and he was happy as days got added to the list… and finally there is no calendar to this.
Adjust your parenting style
Sometimes I heard his school tales which made me uncomfortable as I didn’t approve of them, but still, I kept my calm instead of reacting and listen to him carefully without throwing instant reactions. Only and only patience helped me improve my parenting journey.
Don’t scream or take out anger on kids
Your own behavior will be a mirror to your child’s behavior, so make sure your behavior is ideal for him to follow. Do not be too strict, scream, yell or scold as they will think it’s normal to behave like this. Don’t loose temper as he/ she may mimic you in future as kids learn from how you behave. Remain calm when it seems we’re in the middle of a battlefield. The patience plays a big role in handling the situation and also resolving the problem too.
This helped me be more friendly with him
Now he feels free to share with me, instead of repeating the line aap datoge (you will scold) cause now he knows I won’t.
Face it if you are an imperfect parent, that’s normal. I had my strengths and weaknesses but I decided to find ways to improve. Our children need to be seen and heard.
Its been now that I am more relaxed and my kiddo is also fine…no arguments, no yelling.
He has become more mature and happy baby/ growing teen.
So Parenting with “Patience” is the big keyword to handle kids of today especially pre-teens, growing kids. When you are showing patience you are modeling respect, empathy, and secutiry to your kids.
Every child has a different nature, behavior, qualities, tastes, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. And as a parent, we should respect and accept it. I have learned my parenting lessons with patience, I did take time and I accept it.
To sum all, The P’s of parenting are Patience, Positivity, Practicality, politeness, persistence, pleasing, protective, promising and be prepared to take care.
Don’t forget to read my post on “Writing My Ikigai”
I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa. This is my Earth post which includes musings and thoughts about blogging.